Imaginary

One summer night I spoke to you one on one,
And confessed to you of what I'd felt had begun.
You replied to me, my heart, with honest words,
And I furiously turned away from what I'd heard.

I recall admitting to you that I wasn't in control anymore,
And my feelings were rapidly rushing out the door.
Deeper I fell, forgetting your warning,
Not realizing the capacity of pain I'd be causing.

I turn my words now straight out to you,
I dread every morning waking up and unable to be true.
I hate walking around and saying "only friends",
Then lay alone at night and cracks I mend.

Somewhere,somehow it happened without any expectation,
And with all my heart I tried to avoid this formation.
I played no roll in destiny's game,
Yet my thoughts of you haven't remained the same.

I cared for you only as a friend,
A friend I continue to call you and pretend.
Slowly what I'd felt became much more,
And emotions I experienced like never before.

Since I can only be brave enough on paper and pen,
I'll design my diary like it's never been.
I'll shower it with roses of words I have for you,
And tell it of my love that suddenly grew.

I'll whisper to my sheets late at night,
Then continue to be just your friend while you're in sight.
I'll talk with the trees and ask what it is I feel,
And they'd promise me to make a farewell deal.

You'll forgive me for wanting you till the end,
And I'll forgive you for wanting me just as a friend.
You'll forgive me for looking way deep down in your eyes,
And I'll forgive you for the heart-aching goodbyes.

You forgive me for whispering sweet words late at night,
And I'll forgive you for not holding on so tight.
Forgive me please for I've said "I love you" in disguise,
And I'll have to forgive, for I'll never receive such a prize.

You forgive me for not being able to let go,
And I'll forgive you for never latching on.
Forgiveness only brings inner peace, you see,
Now please tell me, do we have a deal?